Tag Archives: women

The Lies that Society Tells Us

Here’s one geared to teenagers… because they don’t have enough body image issues.

It took me a while to decide where exactly to start with this, but I think this is probably the easiest place to start.  This will by no means be a complete list of lies that Society  (or the world, as the Bible often refers to it,) tells us.  And as I was coming up with that list, I came up with more and more things that Society tells us.  There may be another part to this later, but I haven’t decided.  Let’s dive in, shall we?

Lie #1: You don’t need religion

If you are reading this blog, you probably do not need me to refute this for you. (This is a blog for Christian ladies.  If you did not know that, you should now.  If you abhor the idea of Christianity or women, don’t leave me nasty comments.  I won’t allow them to be shown.  There is no need for that.  Just leave, and don’t read this blog again.  If you have no urge to leave nasty comments, please continue reading, and share this blog with people you think may be interested!)  I can personally attest that I need God.  I need the relationship found with him through the blood of Jesus Christ, and I can only have that relationship because I was washed in the blood (and water) for the remission of my sins.

And if we are all real with ourselves, we recognize that we need religion.  Some believe that they can find that in other religions, but I beg to differ.

Lie #2: You should not believe you are beautiful.

Ladies, don’t buy into those magazine titles that speak to the contrary.  I think it’s safe to say that nine times out of ten, they don’t actually say that you are beautiful.  They offer ways to make you look “more beautiful,” “sexy,” “hot,” “make x part of your body look so much better,” “dress for your body type,” and so on and so forth.

Because we really need “Goddess Hair”

If you really look at what those articles are saying, you should find that they telling you “You are not beautiful as you are, so you need to do X, Y, and Z in order to make yourself look more pretty.”

How can we compare to them? (that’s sarcasm)

In addition, just about every photograph of a woman shown has been edited.  You may have seen this video:

And this is not the only video of it’s kind.  It is so sad that women and young girls compare themselves to models who have been digitally altered to seem and say that they want to look like that.  And there may be some articles and publications that genuinely promote good self esteem and the idea that all women are beautiful, I haven’t found any of them.

Lie #3: You must use your body to get what you want.

Magazines are a huge perpetuator of that.  I’ve scattered some magazine covers throughout this post, and a lot of them include at least one article on how to snag a man, or get that promotion or whatever, and they all include the way you dress, and the way you talk and use body language, and usually they are the “feminine charm” type of things.  Don’t buy into that.  Yes, dress professionally and speak professionally during interviews or when interacting in a professional setting.  Do not wear revealing or suggestive clothing and act provocatively to get that “hot” guy to go out with you.  (If that’s what it takes to get a man, he’s probably not the right kind of man.)

Lie #4: You must always strive to have a bigger, better X, Y, or Z.

Be it a house that is huge and immaculate, a fancy new car, bigger breasts, new wardrobes, nicer furniture, fancy vacations, and any number of other material possessions.  Do you really need a huge house?  Do you need a brand new car every few years? Do you really need the seasons top trends?  What is wrong with your current home, your current car, or the clothes in your closet now?

Lie #5: You need to make more money.

Not necessarily true.  I’ve read blogs about people who live on less than $10,000 per year.  I’ve been told by numerous people not to become a teacher because I won’t make any money.  (In case you were wondering, national starting salary was an national average of $35,672, according to the NEA website. Another website shows median salaries of between $40,744 and $45,620 depending on the grade range and content area. Sources: <a href=”http://www.nea.org/home/2011-2012-average-starting-teacher-salary.html“>NEA</a> <a href=”http://www.payscale.com/research/US/All_K-12_Teachers/Salary“>Payscale</a>) And there are certainly some people who make minimum wage or a little better, and they need more money.  There is no shame in living paycheck to paycheck though.  And sometimes we have to give up things we want (smartphones… cable… exotic vacations…) in order to keep the things we need. (Transportation… water… electricity… food.)  A lot of people forget the resources they have though.  (I’ll probably talk about that later.  And there are a lot of blogs already talking about frugal living.)

“Astro Special” (Note: Astrology is not credible.)

Lie #6:  You don’t need morals.

Yes you do.  There are things that are right and wrong.  And if you follow the Bible, like I try to do, things like premarital sex, lying, swearing, abortion, are all things that society and Christianity tend to butt heads on.

Three words: Friendship. With. Benefits.

Ethics are important in the professional world, and if you follow Christian ethics, it seems to follow that you will be successful in all other areas of your life.  Following Christian ethics should lead to a respectable, honest, trustworthy, humble and gracious person.  (It doesn’t always work that way, but no one is perfect.)

Now, these are just 6 lies that Society tells.  There are many, many more.  And notice that some of these magazines do have articles about good things.  But also notice that they are usually not in the largest font on the page, and there’s rarely more than one or two per magazine.  Whether you buy these magazines or not, that is up to you.  But I suggest laying off them for a while.   See what it does to your self esteem and your focus.  Do you think as much about what you look like, or how to make yourself look better?  Do you feel as bad about your body or intelligence or your self perceived worth?

Just think about it.

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Let’s talk about Confidence

When I went to Church Camp (NOCYC to be specific), we would sing a song in the girls’ village, especially at our nightly devos.  I think it’s called “I’ve Got Confidence.” It’s the first line of the song.  You may have heard it.  And it was fun, and we loved singing it, but I’ve noticed that confidence is something that is seriously lacking in women today.  They think they are too dumb, too ugly, not clever, not talented, no good for anything.  They feel unloved and moreover, they feel unlovable.  And to tell you the truth, I have struggled with it too.  And a lot of it has to do with media and with society.

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Yes, the time has come for me to get on my soap box about media, society, and women’s self concept.

And here is why we have the issues with confidence that we have.  We are looking to the wrong places for affirmation, acceptance, attention and support in the wrong places.  We are looking for compliments for the wrong reasons.  And Satan knows that!  And destroying self-image is his specialty.  He is so good at it, that you might not even realize he is at work.  He uses media, other people, even our own thoughts to make us doubt in our abilities

It’s a cycle that we have to (and can) break.  Will it be easy? No, probably not.  Is it necessary? Absolutely.

We need to place our confidence in the Lord, ladies.  He had, has, and will always have our back.  He has, does, and will always love us unconditionally and over abundantly.  He knows we are beautiful, and if we have put on Christ, he calls us his Princesses.

There is no need to think that we can’t do something because we aren’t “enough.”  God has a calling for each of us, and if we are going to do that we need to let go of our insecurities and become confident in the Lord and know that his grace and strength is sufficient.

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Consider this an introduction.  This is a really big issue and I can’t cover all I want to cover in one post.  (And I wouldn’t want to read a wall of text like that.)  Look for the first part of my discussion on confidence on Tuesday! (If I don’t get it up then, it WILL be up Friday!)

I’ve got confidence (oh yeah)

My Lord is gonna see me through

No matter what the case may be,

My lord is gonna fix it for me.

Image sources:

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The lesson I learned from a pair of shoes….

I have a beautiful pair of wedge heels.  I got them at Lane Bryant, and they have the braided rope on heel, and a pretty texturized upper fabric that covers the toe and the heel and made up the ankle strap.  I adored these heels because they were the first pair I had picked out for myself and could wear and be fairly comfortable.  I’ve had them for about a year now, but back in March I was getting ready to go see an on-campus movie with friends, and when I lifted my left foot to fasten the strap, I didn’t realize I was stepping on the strap with my right heel.  As I lifted my foot, I realized my mistake, but it was too late, and I had ripped the strap clean off the shoe. I picked up both pieces, saw there would be no quick fix before I had to leave, and took the right shoe off.  I was dismayed, but I knew of a shoe repair shop back home and decided to take them in and see what could be done.  I donned a different pair of heels I had not yet worn and went to see The Hobbit.

Fast forward to two weeks ago.  I was home from my first year of college, and I was running errands.  As I passed the shoe repair shop on the way to the mall, I saw it was still open, but I figured it was going to cost more to fix the shoe than it was worth, but then I had an epiphany.  I could remove the ankle straps on both shoes, and then replace them with ribbon and tie them like pointe shoes!  The would be just as or more pretty, and I would just have to buy some grosgrain ribbon!

With my new plan concocted, I continued on to the mall.  I figured WalMart would be a good place to stop because they sold fabric and ribbon and other crafty things, and I needed a journal anyway.

I wish I could say that I have pictures posted of the new shoes in all of their diy makeover glory, but I don’t.  I’ll add pictures when they are done for you all to look at.

So now that you know the back story and the plan, allow me to explain the lesson.  That pair of shoes was lovely.  They were well made, attractive, and supportive.  They were helpful when I needed to look nice, even if it took me a while to finagle the strap closed.  But then they broke, they became damaged and unwearable because of a silly thing, but that strap was the shoe’s weak spot.  It would break there before anywhere else.  I am that shoe.  We are all that shoe.  We are all beautiful and do important things and help others accomplish things and carry great loads.  But just like shoes we fall short of expectations.  We break and are damaged, and we need repair.  And Jesus does that for us.  He takes a good look at us, determines what we need, and not only fixes us, he changes us and makes us different and better than we were.  He does to us what we cannot do.  He takes away our stains (our sins) and heals us (fixes our broken straps), and it makes us better than we were.

“And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”” -Mark 12:17, ESV

And because some of you might be saying “Well what if I’m the shoe that isn’t broken?  I don’t need this Jesus to fix me!  I’m perfectly fine!” here is Romans 3: 22b-26:

For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God’s righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins.   It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.”

See that? “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”  That means me, that means you, your neighbor, your cousin, and that random man you passed earlier today on the street.  We are all sinners, we all have fallen short of God’s glory and expectation of us, BUT, if we have freely accepted Christ into our life by baptism for the remission of sins, then we have been covered by Christ’s blood, and not only are our former sins forgiven, but the ones we are making currently.

So, in essence, we are all shoes with a broken strap.

And that’s the lesson I learned from a pair of shoes.

In Christ,

Jax